Monday, October 6, 2014

The Best New Thing in the World Today - Ari

Technically the best new thing in the world today is not a thing, as much as he is a human, and he's also been around for seven months.

STILL, he's totally new to me and is the best new thing in the world today.  I just met him, briefly, on one of my various legs of my United States trip. His name is Ari and he still has that new baby smell.  Why is it that when you hold a baby the first thing you do is smell their head?  It's intoxicating that's why. Someone needs to bottle that smell.

A few things about the best new thing in the world today:

 First: he wakes up laughing.  I've never woken up laughing. I don't even smile until my third cup of coffee. He's already a better person than I am.



Second: he smiles, like, all day (except when he's crying).






Third: If you set him in front of a piano, he holds himself up and bangs on it.  Not in the way that a silly toddler does, but the way that a future musical genius does.




Fourth: He's so photogenic.  You could argue that he is a baby, therefore, cute and photogenic by default, in which I would argue that you're wrong.  Sometimes babies just are neither.  Sorry I'm not sorry for saying it.







There you have it.

The best new thing in the world today is my nephew Ari.  Did he have that effect on my ovaries that everyone keeps asking about? Sure.  If I had an Ari I wouldn't be mad about it.  BUT I'm not desperate to get there yet.

So fellas, keep coming with your "future baby daddy applications".  The position has yet to be filled by a worthy candidate.